Starfire's problem
by SensuallyPassionate
Summary: when starfire asks interesting question's her friends provide interesting answers
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: PERVERTED HUMOR. Sorry I am bored. Teen titans don't belong to me. Mostly dialogue.**

**It was a normal day at the Titan's tower in Jump city and the crime rate was preferably low. Not much happened besides the occasional bank robbers and maybe a villain with a lame pun or two, but other than that, not much went down. The Teen Titans were all in the living room doing their own thing, most of them anyway. Raven was in her book, Cyborg was doing repairs on himself, and beat boy was geeking out the Ps3. The only people missing was starfire and robin. **

"Hey, I noticed something." Cyborg said aloud as he broke the long silence.

"What?" BB replied while not taking his eyes off the game.

"Satrfire and Robin are still sleep."

"Probably had a long night. I did hear some loud bumping noises."

"That was the sound of your head hitting the head board retard." Ravenreplied, slightly annoyed.

"Oh yea, that's probably why I woke up with a headache this morning."

Just then starfre lazily flew into the living room where all her friends where and sat down on the couch, yawning and slumping back into the cushions. "Morning friends."

"Sup star, you still sleepy?"

"Yes my friend cyborg I am. I stayed up all night trying to get robin to look at me and maybe touch me."

"Touch you starfire?" the three said in unison.

"Yes. Is that not what earth males do? Or do they touch other earth males instead of females?"

"Well knowing robin" Beast boy started as he put the game on pause, "You can't really tell. He does run around in tights and spandex ,so I dunno."

"Don't forget about his batman days. They both wore spandex remember?"

"I thought all the earth males worse spandex and the tights as you say."

"No star" Cyborg said as he walked over to his friends, "It's considered gay."

Raven sighed. "Robin is not gay. Now tell her some advice that is useful."

"Well" Beastboy started as he directed his attention to his alien friend,  
"What did you try to do?"

"I invited him in my room for a nightcap but he refused the head wear."

"You offered him a real cap starfire?"

"Yes, is that wrong?"

"You don't do that starfire" cyborg said trying to suppress a laugh.

"ohhhhh…I didn't know" she lowered her head, "Maybe that's why he would touch me and put his kanorgh in my hirgh."

"What and what?!" Beast boy exclaimed confused.

Cyborg then whispered in his friend's ear to make him realize what she meant.

"OHH I GET IT!!!"

"What else happened star?" Raven asked, getting into the conversation.

"I asked him he wanted to do the foreplay but he said no after I offered to get the three of you."

"Foreplay doesn't require four people starfire." Raven sighed as beastboy and cyborg laughed.

"It doesn't?"

"No star, it's sexual stimulation to get the genitals ready for intercourse."

"Oh…."starfire sighed, "Maybe I am not compatible for robin."

"Don't say that starfire" Cyborg said while trying not to laugh again, "Maybe Robin is gay."

"He is not gay." Raven and starfire said in unison.

"Well why is his name dick then? What mother would name their son after a genital?"

"I heard it was short for Richard and dick is a nickname for him?"

"So he's a red-breasted dick named Richard? Don't think so."

Beatboy laughed. "Funny."

"Would you two grow up please?!" Raven exclaimed, getting fed up with their stupidity.

"Sorry Rae, but it's funny. I mean look at it. He is a red breasted spandex tight wearing dick named Richard."

"Don't forget he's gay too!" Cyborg said adding on to beastboy.

"Like you all don't whack your "Robin""

"I don't, but BB might." Cyborg smiled slyly.

"I don't man! That's nasty."

"Yea right. So how do you know what semen feels like?"

"Because I felt it before."

"Really now?"

"HEY….STOP IT! I DON'T WHACK MY "ROBIN"

"Sure you don't." Raven and Cyborg said with starfire laughing.

"Back on subject. Starfire, talk to Robin."

"Raven what will I say to him?"

"Ask him if those spandex tights ever rub up against him the wrong way."

"CYBORG!" Raven scowled.

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"He might chaff that "Robin" of his cyborg!" Beastboy laughed.

"True, but you should know. You wear spandex too."

"DO NOT! It's polyester and cotton with a smidge of nylon."

"Well damn Martha Stuart, you know your fabrics."

"Again" raven growled, "Back on topic. So, just ask him why he won't…become….you know."

"I tried but he said he wasn't ready. I asked why and he said it was complicated."

"Maybe he still needs time star. You all have known each other for over three years but dated only for one."

"My theory sounds better!" Beastboy chimed, "He is gay! Why else would he have batman and superman on his wall? I bet "Robin" comes out and flies at night."

"Good one BB!" Cyborg laughs, "but I doubt it flies though. Probably limps to the side and hangs there in the "bushes" for a while."

"Come on starfire" Raven said while getting up and taking the girls hand to leave, "These idiots are dumb and they need help. Let's go somewhere more quiet and talk."

**A/N" I KNOW RANDOM AND I AM SORRY BUT IT WAS FOR LAUGHS. Thank you Ginerva for the idea.**


	2. Chapter 2

Once exiting the living room and leaving the laughing beastboy and cyborg in the leaving room, Raven and starfire continued their conversation from where they left off while venturing into Raven's room for more privacy.

"So, you think he may have…. E…e…. erectile... ummmmm"

"Erectile dysfunction?"

"Yes that word."

"I doubt it Star." Raven sat down on her bed, "He seems healthy too me."

"Maybe I don't have, as what you call a vagina, like you have Raven,"

"Umm star" Raven coughed, "You're a girl right?"

"Yes."

"Then you have a ……vagina." 

"But when I asked Robin could he check for me, he ran away."

"Boys do that Star."

"Why?" The young woman asked while lowering her head, "Am I not "Hot" enough? Because if that is the case, I shall go try and make myself hotter by sitting near the sun."

Raven chuckled "No star, your fine. Robin just probably is a virgin."

"ROBIN A VIRGIN!" Beast boy exclaimed as he and cyborg fell through Raven's sliding doors, entering her room, "Umm" he laughed nervously, "We…tripped?"

"OUT!" she hissed, making them both cringe in fear.

"Sorry Rae" cyborg gulped, "But we want to help starfire."

"Yea" beastboy added, "We want to help our friend just as much as you do."

"Just a minute ago, you all were laughing at Robin's name."

"Dick?" Cyborg chuckled, "No we weren't, we laughing at…"Robin"."

Beastboy laughed. "Yea. Now anyway, I don't think he is a virgin because I seen his package and he certainly knows how to deliver."

"YOSEEN HIS PACKAGE?" the three yelled in unison.

"Well yea…see…. I was a fly and he was in his room and undressed and …HEY I AM SO NOT HOMO!"

"Dude, that's homo!"

"Cy, it was an accident. I didn't mean to see his "Robin" it was just all out there I couldn't help but look."

"Wow beastboy" raven sighed, "I knew you were nasty but you take it to a all new low."

"But you said he knew how to deliver! I can understand to some extent you ACCIDENTALLY seeing his "Robin" but for you to say he delivers? Nasty!"

"Cy, I am not gay!"

"What he do" raven smirked, "Deliver it to your back door?"

Starfire giggled. "What does homo and package mean?"

"Homo star" raven started, "is when someone likes their same gender. Like beastboy."

"HEY!!!!!"

Raven sighed and continued. "And what beatboy meant by package was his..Private parts and how he uses them."

"Of course BB should know.' Cyborg grinned, "He had a special delivery come to his back door."

"I AM NOT GAY!!!"

"So why do you have pictures of batman in your room with hearts on them?"

"I admire his costume. I mean the man wears a friggin black and gray costume, complete with spandex tights and a leotard with some underwear over it. It looks nice, but I wonder how he pees."

"See!!!!!" Cyborg shouted while laughing, "Homo!!"

"I AM NOT!!!!"

"So why do you care how he pees?"

"THE GUY WEARS HIS UNDERWEAR OVER HIS SPANDEX! WHAT DOES HE DO, HAVE A SECRET DOOR TOTAKE HIS ROBIN OUT OR SOMETHING?"

"Dude, that's homo!"

"IT'S NOT!"

"Yes beastboy, it is." Raven added, agreeing with cyborg.

"So robin is a spandex wearing red breasted dick named Richard that hangs out with the black and gray leotard wearing spandex loving bat?"

"EXACTLY STAR!"

"NO!!!" raven shouted as she pimped slapped beatboy, "That is all wrong star."

"It's true!" he retorted back while rubbing his head, "Plus, everything he owns had the word bat before it."

"How?"

"Bat-car, bat-rang, bat-cycle, bat-jet, bet-pen, bat-paper, bat-gum, bat mase, bat-bombs. Do I need to continue?"

"Oh yea that reminds me of his butler!" cyborg laughed, "His name is ALFRED!!!"

Beasyboy laughed. "Sounds French!"

"Would you like a spot of tea master beastboy.?"

"Why yes I would like a spot of tea but only a smidge." Beastboy replied while mocking the British accent cyborg did.

Raven sighed. "We are supposed to be helping starfire!"

"We are!" they replied in unison, "Just making her laugh about hr hubby. He does wear spandex you know."

"We get it!" starfire and raven exclaimed.

"I bet dick….I mean "robin" learned how to deliver from batboy."

"Dude! HOMO!"

"JUST SAYIN!"

"Saying what?" a male voice called out from Raven's doorway.

**A/N: Well I was bored and decided to update. Perverted humor rocks. If ya hate it, don't care. If ya love it, thank a million **


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone turned around and looked at the doorway, seeing the groggy robin standing there with a mug of coffee in one hand and a doughnut in the other.

"What's going on?"

"Hey robin" beastboy said nervously, "Top of the morning to ya!"

Robin shot beastboy a "oh shut up" look at directed his attention back over to the rest of the titans. "What are you all doing in Raven's room?"

"We were……talking."

"About?"

"You, my Robin!" Starfire smiled as she flew over to the still half-sleep robin, "I was telling our friends about the problem we have."

"Problem?"

"About you not wanting to touch me. Beastboy and cyborg said you might be gay but I don't think so."

"GAY!?"

"Yes, they said since you wear spandex and tights that you might be gay."

"Oh really?" Robin said while narrowing his eyes down onto beastboy and cyborg.

"Yes, and beastboy said he saw your package and said you know how to deliver.'

"YOU WERE LOOKING AT MY DICK!?"

"Actually" Beastboy grinned and laughed nervously, "Your "Robin" is a better word."

"BEASTBOY THAT IS SO GAY!"

"HEY HEY HEY, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"How the hell was it an accident?"

"I was a fly on your wall and I was like in your room but you came in with only a towel on and I kind of saw you take it off and your "robin" was just all out there."

"DUDE, HOMO!"

"Robin, I am not homo. I don't look at guys like that!"

"So if you had to choose between dying a horrible death or Sucking a "robin", which would you do."

"The robin of course."

"HOMO!!!!!" cyborg laughed, "THAT'S SO GAY."

"DUDE I AM NOT GAY!"

"Wait wait wait," raven chuckled and got into the conversation, "Who would you do, aqua-lad or speedy?"

"ummmmmm……speedy. Aqua-lad smells like fish."

"DUDE, SPEEDY? HE PROBALLY HAS AN INFECTION."

"Cyborg, I doubt he has one! He looks fine."

"But have you ever seen his package BB?"

"Well, there was that one time when I saw his buns but…..HEY!"

"HOMO!!!!" robin yelled.

"Dude, I am so not gay!"

Starfire sighed. "Can we please get back to me please?"

"Star is right" Raven agreed, "We'll get back to homo boy over there later."

"I am not homo!" beastboy grumbled.

"Starfire, this is a personal matter between us two. Why would you tell our friends!?"

"Because I was wondering if I was doing something wrong. I even invited you for a nightcap."

"Starfire, you gave me a hat."

She frowned. "Well, I asked you if we could foreplay."

"You actually meant with four people Star" Robin sighed, "For heaven's sake star, I don't want my business out to my friends."

"But I thought maybe you wouldn't like me. If you want I'll let you deliver your package to my front and back door."

"WHAT!" Robin shrieked, "Starfire, I don't want to deliver anything, because I m not ready to be a delivery man."

"What?" raven, cyborg, and beastboy asked confused.

"Hey, hey, like you all never made a lame pun!"

"Robin, am I unattractive or are you just not attracted to females and just males."

"Star I like girl's"

"Then why don't you go and act like it!" beastboy laughed.

"I would if I could!"

"We'll pretend we don't hear anything!"

"Yea!" beastboy grinned, "I'll tell anyone who asks that starfire is wrestling and is really enjoying it."

"SHUT UP YOU FAG!"

"I am not a fag!"

"DUDE, you saw dick's "robin" and speedy's buns. GAY!'

"Cy, it was an accident!"

"You said you would give oral to speedy."

"WELL IF I WAS GOING TO DIE, DUH I WOULD!"

"BB, just shut up and take your "robin" out your mouth."

"Oh shut up!" Beastboy groaned.

"Look starfire" robin said getting back on topic, "Can we talk somewhere more private please. I don't want our friends hearing us and I feel uncomfortable with beastboy in here."

"Hey!!!!!!"

"Sure robin, we can talk somewhere more private."

**A/N: WELL, I'M bored and I made this out of boredom. PERVERTED HUMOR IS FUNNY! ANYWAY, HATE IT, DON'T CARE. LOVE IT, THANKS A MILLION.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Starfire, please sit down." Robin instructed as he sat down on his bed and patted a spot on his bed, "We need to talk."

"Starfire sat down next to Robin and lowered her head. "Robin are you mad?"

"No star," he sighed, "But I am a bit upset that you told our business to our friends."

"But I was confused about if you really wanted me enough."

"Star, just because I won't touch you sexually doesn't mean I don't want you, let alone love you."

"But I really want you to touch me." She grabbed Robin's hands and put them on her breast, "Do you like how they feel?"

"UHHHHHHHH", Robin blushed, "……..they feel……..firm?"

"What else?" She asked while making Robin's hands squeeze her globes and pinch her nipples.

"UHHHHHHH……..very nice Star." He gulped and pulled back.

She smiled and blushed. "Since you touched my gufga's can I touch your ummmm.. what did beastboy say…ummm…your "robin"?"

"Umm starfire, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't feel comfortable doing that."

"Do you not have one?"

"I have one but" robin gulped, "I just don't want to get too intimate yet starfire."

"Am I not satisfying robin?" starfire moped.

"No, No,No star" robin countered, trying to make star feel better, "It's not that it's just I don't….." he sighed and stood up, "You sure you want to see it?"

"Yes!!"

Robin sighed and undid his pajama pants, letting them fall before his feet, allowing starfire to gaze in amazement at his Robin and his "eggs". While starfire and Robin were preoccupied in the bedroom, raven, cyborg, and beastboy were outside the room, listening to the door trying to make out what the couple was talking about.

"Can you hear them?"

"Not quite. A little here and there but nothing too clear" raven replied, pressing her ear closer to the door, trying to hear more.

"I say we use my high-tech listening devices and call it a damn day."

"I say no!" beastboy retorted, "I want to hear Dick from he door."

"Of course you'd want to hear dick."

"I am not gay!"

"WHATEVER!" Cyborg rolled his eyes and listened closely to the door, "You're a fag."

"DUDE, ATLEAST MY NAME ISN'T DICK!"

"Like Garfield is any better."

"Better than Dick. I bet his middle name is balls."

"His middle name is…what is his middle name?"

"WHO CARES!?" Raven shot back trying to listen, "Besides beastboy, even if his middle name is balls your middle name would have to be "ROBIN" sucker."

Cyborg laughed, "Beastboy coc..I mean "robin" sucker faggot"

Beastboy scowled at his friends. "My middle name isn't coc…."robin" sucker, it's Forrest john."

Raven and cyborg both stopped what the were doing and stared at beast boy with blank looks on their faces, making beastboy feel uncomfortable. Finally breaking the silence, cyborg busted into laughter with raven soon behind him.

"Forrest John?"

"You're kidding right?"

"No, my name is Garfield Forrest john Logan the third."

"You know what," cyborg paused and faced his green friend, "I would choose to be named dick any day over being called garfeild john Forrest Logan."

"THE THIRD!" Raven laughed, adding onto cyborg.

"Ha, Ha, very funny. But at least my middle name isn't hareybac"

Cyborg then stopped laughing and looked at his friend with evil eyes.

"What you say?"

"Oh nothing….VICTOR HAREYBAC STONE!"

"HAREYBAC?"

"Yup, that's his middle name raven. HAREYBAC!"

Raven laughed. "That's even better than beastboy's."

"Oh shut up BOB!"

"BOB?!" Beastboy shouted while laughing, "That's your middle name Raven?"

Raven blushed slightly and turned away. "I think we should get back to listening to the conversation."

"No thanks BOB." Cyborg laughed, "Hey, isn't that a guys name?!"

Raven grumbled. "Shut up Hareybac; not like your name is the best in the world."

"Sounds like a trucker's name."

"Yea! He would be a fat guy with a plaid shirt that had on jeans two sizes to small."

"With his belly hanging over his belt and have on a baseball cap saying "I'm bringing sexy back."

"Yea!" Beastboy and cyborg finished, laughing together

"Well a least my middle name isn't Forrest!" Raven shot back, quite angry.

"…GUMP." Cyborg chuckled, "My momma always SAID LIFE WAS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES."

"Don't you dare finish it!" Beastboy challenged.

"You never know what your gonna get!"

"UGH!!!!" Beastboy hollered in frustration, "The kids always did that when I was little. Even told me to…"

"RUN FORREST RUN!"

"SHUT UP RAVEN!!!"

Raven laughed. "Hey cy, I bet his first girlfriends name was Jenny."

"Actually" beastboy blushed, "Her name was jenny."

"OH MY GOD!!" Cyborg and Raven laughed, "So funny!"

"And then…me and….Jen..ny went to da park."

"And then…bout…ten years later…we's had a son."

"His name is..for..rest too!" Cyborg added while mocking the accent Forrest gump had.

"Then I bored some old lady to death by telling he my life story while I offered her chocolates every ten minutes!"

"And!" cyborg laughed, "Then I had me some bubble gum shrimp, coconut shrimp, fried shrimp, baked shrimp, barbeque shrimp, lemon shrimp, and all other types of shrimp!"

Beastboy glared at his two friends angrily as they both died of laughter and kept making more jokes about his name.

"Oh…just shut up. It's not funny."

"Yes it is!" Cyborg said as he calmed down and wiped twears from his eyes, "You're a fag dick loving "robin" looking bun smacking Garfield that likes to eat shrimp!"

"I A M NOT A FAG!"

"YEA YOU ARE!"

"Bet, you'd want speedy's buns to go with that "robin" huh Forrest?"

"SHUT UP BOB!"

"The builder!" Cyborg added on.

"Like hareybac is the best either. I say out of the two of you, I have to most normal middle name."

"Sure you do." Beastboy rolled his eyes, "Like a girl being named after a fat ass trucker that thinks he's bringing sexy back is normal."

"Better than being named after a crazy country boy that likes chocolates and wears coordinating socks."

"Well….at least Forrest isn't a plumber's name! Bob can be either a plumber or a trucker that has his ass crack all out when he bends over!"

"Well….at least it wasn't a crazy retard man that ran for no reason for many years!"

"Well!" beastboy paused, "At least when bend over, my name doesn't show on my underwear!"

"Well……."

"ENOUGH!" A male voice shouted as it's owner came in the middle of the hallway, "What are you three doing?"

"Robin.." beastboy nervously said, "We were just…..talking about….middle names."

"I heard."

"So did I" starfire added, "Please tell me friends, what is a middle name?"

"A second name you have starfire before your last name." Robin explained, "And more than likely it's the weirdest one."

"Like Raven's!" beastboy snickered, "Hers is bob."

"No, I think John Forrest is the worse!"

"SHUT UP CY!"

"YOU SHUT UP FAG!"

Robin laughed. "No the weirdest middle name I have ever heard was superman's and his is Mary Agnus."

Cyborg and beastboy busted into laughter while Raven just stared in disbelief.

"Seriously?"

"YES!" Robin said, chuckling himself, "Clark jerry curl in the middle of his forehead Kent's middle name is Mary agnus."

**A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers and all the support. Only two more chapters till this story is over. I know it was quite random, but I was bored. **

I edited because i got the right last names. thanks cheekydevil


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright I am thankful for my reviewers. Makes me happy people like this story. BTW, if you don't like don't fuckin read. Anyway, enjoy. **

"Look, today has been a rough day so let's all go in the living room and chill out."

"Robin is right." Starfire squealed, "I'll get the ice so we can "chill""

Raven sighed. "He means just hanging out star."

"Oh."

"Rob is right you know. I am tired and my stomach is hurting from laughing so hard."

"Well let's go then!" beastby houted while giving the peace sign, "Let's go play monopoly."

With the rest of the remaining members, they al exchanged glances at each other and filed out to the living room, leaving beast boy to retrieve the game from his room.

About an hour into the game, the team sparked an interesting conversation about pet peeves.

"So starfire, "Robin rolled the dice and moved his dog, "What is your pet peeve?"

"Huh?"

"He means what annoys you the most and why."

"Oh!" she blushed, "Thanks raven. Ummmm…..i think mine would have to be when people take forever to cross the dam street!"

"OMG YES!!" Cyborg groaned, "They take they sweet ass time and walk all slow like!" Makes me want to run them over and say..."Oops my bad, didn't see ya there buddie.""

The team laughed.

"Raven, your turn."

"Don't have one."

"Come on Rae!" beastboy pushed the question while rolling the dice, "Everyone has one."

"Well….i do hate it when people leave the cap off the tooth paste, leaving it to dry up and be all nasty."

"BEASTBOY!" The team said in unison.

"HEY HEY HEY, NO I DON'T!"

"Yes you do, BB. Sometimes I wonder what you do with the tooth paste."

"What do you think I do….NASTY!!!!!"

"Again, he whacks his robin."

"DO NOT!!!!"

Raven chuckled. "Let's move on. Not that again."

"Alright, Rae ask someone their pet peeve."

"Ummmmm……Robin, what's yours."

Robin paused and thought about it . "Mine would have to be when those car alarms go off. So annoying."

"WE LOVE THOSE!!!!!" Cyborg and Beast boy chimed in together, "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH….OHHHHHHHHHHHH…..EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH…….DOOOOODOOOOODOOOOODDOOO…WEYOWEYOWEYOWEYOWEYOWEY…"

"STOP!!!"

"Sorry."

Robin sighed and continued on the game and his started a new question.

"Beastboy, what is your pet peeve?"

Beast boy sighed and laid back in his chair. "Oh my gosh it's weird but I hate it when people talk to damn loud and too damn low."

"HUH?" They all said in unison.

"I had a job one time at burger king and I thought it would be cool since my bro was the manager. SIKE! HE WAS A TOTAL DICK! He actually thought he was the burger king. So like he had me on drive thru duty every night and I would have my headset on and be like "Hi welcome to burger king, may I take your order?" and then they would scream WHOPPER!!!!!! WHOPPER NO ONION!!!!! PICKELS!!!! CHEESE!!!!!!"

"Oh my god!" cyborg busted out laughing, "I can't breath."

"I was like "okay…chubaka ….this isn't the space station its burger king so …DRIVE AROUND!!!"

"What else happened?" asked raven

"Now I didn't mind the loud talking people it was the low talking people that irked me. Like one time this lady drove up and I was like "Hi, welcome to burger king may I take your order?" And in the lowest voice I have ever heard she was like…  
"Ummm the whopper….and bun seeds…and pickles on pickles…and the milkshake with pickles….and the ice and…ummm…cheese with the pickles and the cheese with the onion and pickles with pickles."

"OMG!" Robin laughed, "What then?"

"Then I was like ummm ma'am…are you trying to molest me via drive thru? Then she was like "CHICKEN TENDERS…..SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE ALL OVER MY BODY."

The whole table started to bust out in laughter harder then before and even feel out of there seats. Beast boy just chuckled to himself and took his turn in monopoly, moving his car along with it.

**3 hours later. **

Robin knocks over the game board.

"FUCK THIS GAME!!!!"

"Robin…."

"No star!! You're a cheating whore!!! We been here for three hours and no one has won!!! I mean I got taxes leaking out my ass!! Shit!! I mean damn you got all these fifties!! WHERE DID YOU GET THE PINK FIFTY'S YOU CHEATING WHORE!!"

"Robin..." cyborg yawned, "Calm down."

"No you calm down!!!! She is a cheating whore!!! YOU BETTER SHUT UP BEFORE I CUT YOUR HEAD OFF WITH MY LITTLE DOGGIE!"

"Robin" Raven chuckled, "You can't even curse right. You even say Fuck wrong."

"Yea" beastboy added, "He doesn't emphasize the F. he just says f...UCK!"

"Oh yea well …f...UCK you!"

"Fuck me...oh well umm Gaylord!"

**A/N: I was hella bored so I used DANE COOK'S funny jokes for the teens titans. He is a funny as man! Next chapter will be added soon. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: the time has come for me to end such a story, but don't worry I'll be back with my next TEEN TITAN'S STORY: Drunken games. Very retarded but I put this in this other teen titan's shrine and five hundred people reviewed it. I was shocked actually. But yea. Anyway, thanks to my reviewers, you all get cookies! And to my haters and flamers…you all made me cry. SIKE! I can give two shits what yall got to say. Anyway, enjoy and see you! **

The sun shone brightly through the Titan's tower window as it bathed over the five sleeping titan's. After a long night of playing games and joking around, the five titans passed out around five in the morning and didn't even bother to retreat to their bedrooms to go to sleep. Instead, they kind of just dropped where they where. Literally.

The first to awake was the little alien girl. She slowly rose and yawned while stretching her arms and legs. Rubbing her eyes lazily, she scanned the room and realized she had slept in the living room with the rest of her friends.

"Oh my, we slept here last night? Must've been one crazy night."

"You can say that again." Robin added while getting up from his resting spot and standing next to starfire, "Good morning."

"Morning Robin." She smiled.

"You look beautiful with bed head."

"Robin." She giggled and blushed, "I think it's a mess."

Robin grinned and kissed starfire. "I don't."

"DUDE!!! KEEP THAT TO A MINIMUIM!"

"Sorry beastboy" Robin said while grinning at the blushing starfire.

"That is just nasty." Cyborg chimed in while yawning and moving towards the kitchen, "Besides, that almost ruined my appetite."

"Speaking of which." Raven asked, "What is for breakfast?"

"Waffles!"

"Tofu!"

"Tea and toast."

"Bacon and eggs."

"The sugary coated dried bread food that requires milk."

"How about we just go out for breakfast?" suggested Raven, "Since we all want different things."

"Sounds good" Robin agreed, "How about IHOP?"

"Nah, I like Denny's."

"How about the local coffee house?"

"Boring! Let's go to some waffle house."

"I agree with Robin. I want to go to the so called I of the Hop."

The remainder of the titan's sighed and looked at the couple.

"Guess we go there. We are out numbered."

"You know." Beast boy grinned, "I wonder if they'll ever get into any nothing fights."

"Nothing fights?" Raven, Cyborg, starfire and Robin said in unison.

"Yea. Nothing fights. Like when a couple fights over nothing at all. Like this one time I was shopping at the local super market and I was in the frozen pizza section right? So like i as deciding on weather or not I wanted a five cheese pizza or a one cheese pizza. I mean you never know what you might want because you know one minute I might want only one cheese, you know just a one on one cheese battle. But then again I would want a plethora of cheeses in my mouth. But anyway, I was just standing there, choosing my cheese adventure, and then I heard a couple yelling and you know I didn't hear much but a little babbling and a few "I don't care" or a few "Jesus woman, where is it?" "

"Oh wow." Cyborg laughed, "What happened next?"

"Well you know I got excited about the nothing fight and had to check it out so I kind of left my cart near the freezer aisle and went towards the fight. But god forbid someone comes in and sees your cart and its exactly what they want; so they come up and steal your shit. I mean seriously. They come up and take your shit and go "JACK POT BITCHES!". But yea. Anyway, so I am in the cookie aisle right and I am just staring at them while I am "shopping for cookies." And watching them yell at each other and like it's super funny because they are arguing about nothing reallyy. So i hear the man starting to go like "I ASKED IF WE HAD ANY JELLY IN THE HOUSE! HOW HARD IS IT TO SEE IF WE HAD JELLY!" Then she was like "I DON'T EVEN LIKE JELLY...I GET HIGH JUST THINKING ABOUT JELLY!""

"OMG!" Robin laughed, "What then?"

"So then i was all up into the nothing fight i started to a box of mento cookies. YES I PAID FOR THEM. I PAID. But anyway, i was just watching them and it was interesting. So at this point i have to take part in the nothing fight. I always do that because you know i want to help the poor guy. Becasue as you know you women are mind ninjas. YOU INVADE OUR MINDS! so i go over to the guy and whisper "Hey dude, yea i heard about your fight aboutt he jelly. Tell that twat to go get the jelly." The guy llaughs and says "Yea thanks bro. UMM GO GE THE JELLY...UMM WHAT WAS THAT WORD?" I replied "TWAT MAN, TWAT." Then he was like, "Yea thanks bro. umm go get the jelly...yea umm twat!"

"Wow beastboy you have some crazy stories."

"That's hardley ntohing Raven. The dumbest story is when i was working at burger king. like i told this lady. "Okay ma'am that'll be 3.75 so drive around." Now then it was this big ass pause and then she was like ."Where do i go?" I was like what the hell woman! You go on the one fucking road your on. So out of stupidity i told her "Okay maam you make a right at the speedway around the corner right, then you'll see a guy in a yellow poncho. Yea his name is hank. He'll take you to the whopper layer. That's where you go. And you have ten minutes to get there or we take your food."

"I would have loved to see you in action BB!"

"Yea" Raven chuckled, "That would have been funny."

"Apparently girls thought my job as cool."

"How when you worked at Burger King?"

"I didn't call it burger king. I called it the BK lounge. See i wanted it to sound cool so when a girl asked where i worked i would say "Yea baby i work at the BK lounge. Yea i am a bouncer." Then they would ask to get in and i would say "nOT WITHOUT COUPES BABE. nOT WITHOUT COUPES."

The titans soon started to bust out in laughter and where laughing so hard, they either couldn't breath or they were crying.

"BB" cyborg paused and wiped his eyes, "Do you have anymore stories?"

"Ummmm...I have one more actually. Like one time iw ent to a party right with my bro. And he took me to his friends house right, and when we got there some dude took our coats. So iw as like alright cool a coat checker. But my bro wanted to be retarded so he told me to meet him at midnight by the coat area. Now before i go on, i am telling you to never do this. It was just nasty now that i look back on it but then again funny as hell."

"What happened?" asked starfire.

"Well i me him at midnight and he led me into the coat rooom right, now he was like "let's shit on the coats." I was like what the hell. The before i could protest, he started to shit on the coats and left like right after. So i followed him out and we blended right back intot he crowd. So now it's like three in the morning and people are about to go get there coast and leave. So out of nowhere my brother comes out of the coat closet and goes "someone has shit on the coats! I mean it's a smell of shit on or around the coat area and it is leaving me to believe someone has shit on the coats!" Now to add on to the suspicion i was like "Hope it wasn't on my coat" then i blended back into the crowd. Like a phantom."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Cyborg breathed while dying of laughter.

"Very serious."

"That is nasty but yet funny." Robin chuckled.

"Yea. And one more thing. I went to VICTORIA'S SECRET one day last week and i was browsing and then i saw some guy look at thongs right. And they were like pink frilly thongs. So i looked at him and saw he checked to see if anyone was around and then he put the thongs up to his waist and was checking himself out in them. I guess he heard me laugh at him, becaus i was dying or laughter, and suddenly put them down and walked away, trying to play it off. I laughed my ass off!"

"That's funny beast boy but i have one question."

"What is it Robin?"

"What the freak was you doing in Victoria Secret?"

"HEY, CAN'T A GUY GO SHOP FOR SOME STRAWBERRY LOTION? IT EXFOLIATES MY SKIN"

**wELL I AM DONE! TADA!!! Thanks to all my fans and to DANE COOK. HIS JOKES WHERE USED. FUNNY GUY. Thanks for reading!**


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